Richard Simmon's Necronomicon

spookykidsf2k @ 2007-11-30T16:59:00

2007-11-30T23:18:04Z

Well, I have returned from Texas. There is much to be said about what happened and I will post this soon. I guess it has been a manner of collecting my thoughts and being able to post them in a coherant manner.

In the meantime, my wife and I were driving home and trying to relieve the boredom. First, came the discussion of this video

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/285267

A while back, I had toyed with the idea of doing something like this in the same manner as the Composer Deathmatch. And so as the miles passed, a dream rebloomed.

I am planning on a actual Battle of Ultimate Destiny. Setting up the website for this will take some work, but what the hell. Here is where you fair reader can assist. Take a look at the list that I have so far. If there is someone you would like added to the battle, let me know. I will say that it is a pretty damn extensive list.

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Aaron Carter

Abe Lincoln

Adam West

Admiral Adama (with flashlight and mustache)

Agent Smith

Akira

Aku

Airwolf

Alan Quarterman

Alfred E. Neuman

Alien

Alester Crowley

Alice of Wonderland

Anton Chigurh

Aqua Teen Hungerforce

Aragorn

Aunt Jemiama

Babe Ruth

Banjo the Clown, God of Puppetry

BatBoy!

Batman

BEARS!!!

Belgium

Bender

Bezerk Robot

Big Bad Wolf

Bigfoot

Bill Gates

Bill Nye The Science Guy

Bill S Preston and Ted Theodore Logan (WYLD STALLINS)

Bionic Man & Woman

Bison (Street Fighter)

Blackula

Blue Meanie

Blues Brothers

Bluto (Animal House)

Bo and Luke Duke

Bob Saget

Borat

Brock Lesner

Brock Sampson

Bruce Lee

Bruce the shark (JAWS)

Bruce Willis

Bryan Peppers

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Bugs Bunny

Bun-bun

Bunny with Pancake on Head

Burger King

Burt Reynolds

Care Bears

Carlos Mencia

Capt Ahab

Capt Crunch

Capt Jack Sparrow

Captain and Tenielle

Captain Kangaroo

Captain Murphy

Captain Nemo

Captain Picard

Captain Planet

Cartman

Catwoman

Chairman Kaga

Charles Manson

Charlie’s Angels

Charlie Sheen

Charlton Heston

Cheech and Chong

Che Guevaro

Chewbacca

Christopher Walken

Chuck Norris

Chucky

Cleopatra

COBRA Commander

Col Sanders

Conan O’Brian

Conan The Barbarian

Count Chocula

Cowboy Curtis

Crispin Glover

Crockett and Tubbs

Crow, The

Cthulhu

Cylon (old school)

Daleks

Dale Earnhardt

Darth Maul

Darth Vader

Dave Chappelle

David Bowie

David Hasselhoff

Dethklok

Dexter (from Dexter)

Dick Clark

Dick Cheney

Doc Cottle

Doctor Evil

Dr. Frankenfurter

Dr. Hannibal Lechter

Doc Ock

Doc Savage

Doctor Who

Doctor Zaius

Doctor Zoidberg

Dog The Bounty Hunter

Doom Soldier

Dorthy of OZ

Dracula

Easy Reader

Edward Scissorhands

El Santos

Elton John

Elvis

Emeril

Enegizer Bunny

Evel Knieval

Evil Burt

Fat Apollo

Fat Mamma

Fightin’ Jesus

Fonz, The

Frank Booth

Freddy Kruger

Frosty the Snowman

Furries

FYAD

Gandalf

Ghostbusters

Giant Floating Spaghetti Monster

G.I. Joe

Girl Hitler

Godzilla

Goku

Gunslinger, The (Dark Tower)

Guys from Penny Arcade

Harry Houdini

Harry Potter

Harvey Birdman

Hercules

The Highlander (Conner)

Homer Simpson

Howard Stern

H.R. Puffinstuf

Hulk

Hulk Hogan

Humphry Bogart

I.C.P.

Indiana Jones

Invader Zim

Iron Chef Sakai

Jack Bauer

Jackie Chan

Jambi the Genji

James Bond

James Dean

Jan Brady

Jane Austin

Jason

Jay and Silent Bob

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Jenna Jameson

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

Jick (KOL)

Joan of Arc

Joan Crawford

Job

Johnny Knoxville & The Jackass Crew

Johnny Quest

Joker, The

Jolly Green Giant

Jon Stewart

J.R. “BOB” Dobbs

Judohobo

Judge Dredd

Jules Verne

Julius Ceasaer

Kenny

King Arthur

King Kong

King Leonidis

K.I.S.S.

K.I.T.T.

Kool-Aid Man

Lara Croft

Leatherface

Lemmy

Lewis Black

Lindsey Lohan

Lizzy Borden

Lock Ness Monster

Lo-Pan

Lord British

Lowtax

L.Ron Hubbard

Ludwig Van Beethoven

MacGyver

Madlyn Murray O’Hair

Madonna

Major Victory

Mario

Marlon Brando

Mata Hari

Matthew Lesko

Mecha Barbara Striesand

Michael Jordan

Michael Stipe

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

Mirror Universe Spock

Mister Rogers

Monarch

Monty Pythons Black Knight

Morpheus

Ms. Swann

MST3K Gang

Mulder & Scully

Mummy

Mystery Men, The

Napoleon Dynamite

Naughty Sorceress (KOL)

Neal Armstrong

Neil Peart

Neo

Nicolai Tesla

Obi-wan Kenobi

Optimus Prime

Orville Redenbacker

Ozzy

Pac Man

Paris Hilton

Pee-Wee Herman

Penn & Teller

Pennywise the Clown

Peter Molyenuex

Peter Pan (Internet)

Pico (Newgrounds)

Pinhead

Ponch & John (CHIPS)

Powerpuff Girls

Prof Snape

Pyramid Head

Quaker Oats Man

Raiden

Razzles

Riddick

Ripley (Alien)

Robocop

Rob Zombie

Rock, The

Ronald McDonald

Ron Jeremy

Rubik’s Cube

Sadaam Hussein

Sailor Moon

Salvador Dali

Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)

Samuel L. Jackson

Sammy Davis Jr.

Samurai Jack

Samus

Santa Claus

Sauron

Scooby Doo & The Gang

Scruff McGruff

Sean Connery

Sean “Puff-Daddy” Combs

Sgt. R.Lee Ermey

Sgt.Slaughter

Shaft

Shaggy

Shaq

Shaye St. John

Sherlock Holmes

Siegried & Roy

Skull (PVP)

Smokey the Bear

Snake Plisskin

Solid Snake

Space Invader

Spider Man

Spinal Tap

Spock

Starsky and Hutch

Star Wars Kid

Sta Puft Marshmallowman

Steve Buscemi

Steve Jobs

Steven Segal

Stephen Colbert

Stephen King

Stewie Griffin

Stick Figures

Strawberry Clock

Strawberry Shortcake

Strongbad

Superman

Swedish Chef

Tennacious D

Terminator

Theodore Roosevelt

Three Stooges

Tiny Tim

Tobias Funkke

Toki Wartooth’s Parents

Tom Cruise

Tor Johnson

ToToro

Triple H

Trogdor

Uncle Sam

Voltron

Weird Al Yankovich

Wicked Witch of the West

William Shatner

Wil Wheaton

Wolverine

Wonder Woman

W.O.W.

Xena

Yellowjacket Greenapple

Yoda

Yoko Ono

Young Elvis

Zippy The Pinhead

Zombie Benito Mussolini

Zombie Ronald Reagan

Zombies

Zombie T-Rex

spookykidsf2k @ 2007-11-22T20:38:00

2007-11-23T02:38:55Z

Not much to celebrate this Thanksgiving.

My dad died yesterday morning.

My dad

2007-10-25T03:30:04Z

Sorry if I have not been updating recently. Much has occured in real life - some good some bad.

My biggest concern is with my dad. He has been fighting cancer and putting up a good fight. Recently, he has struggled with trying to gain enough physical strength so that he can continue with the chemotherapy treatments that have done a lot of good. Needless to say I am growing very worried from the email updates my mother has been sending me. You can read them at the link and understand my concerns.

Sat 10/20

Well, they didn't drop him last night. That's good. But he was in quite a lot of pain this morning when I got there. He would't eat his breakfast because he hurt so bad. Finally, they came in with his pain meds. Just as he got comfortable they came in to move him over to the Nursing home. Three gals with a garney came across the street and got him and took him back. They put him in the newer wing of the home. New flooring, wall paper , paint, curtains. I really liked the nurse staff on the wing. Then I noticed that daddys feet were hanging off the end of the bed. I voiced my concern about that to one of the nurses and they said that they would pull him higher in the bed. Well, he wanted his TV hooked up so I left and went to Walmart to get a cable. I had just checked out when my cell rang. They were going to moved daddy to another wing. I got back over there as quick as I could and sure nuff off we go to the other side of the home. Room 348. This wing is older and hot. I had to go back to Walmart for a fan. But the reason for the move was that all the beds are short except this one bed. Most of the residents are short little old people. When daddy arrived everyone was all excited about that young guy who just moved in. Hope they can work a miracle and he can come home soon. At one point today he woke up and said he was going to see if he could come home for the weekend next week. Yesterday he was thinking clear as a bell , today he was a little muddled.

10/22

Hey Chris, well I can't remmember what I've told you and what I haven't. Daddy is in the Skilled Nurse Home now. He is in a different room than what he started out in. The bed was to short in the first room. The second room has a bigger bed but he also now has a room mate. He is 83 years old just had hip replacement and mumbles all the time. Yesterday daddy sleep all day. He woke up to eat and pee but that was all. Today he was awake a lot more. Lori came up for a couple of hours and later Scott and Waneta came up. Daddy watched the cowboy game. Around 5 they brought his supper and around 6 I left to come home. Tomorrow the rehab people come to work with him. Boy, he'll be a joy to be around . Yesterday they told me he had to be clean shaven. I told them ok...do it. Well, he wouldn't let them do it. So I shaved his cheeks....today I shaved his chin and tomorrow I will shave his upper lip. I sure he has nerve damage in his neck-shoulder or the tumors caused the damage to them. He seems to be in pain all the time. He says even air blowing across hurts. I just don't know what else to do. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

10/23

Well rehab came to see daddy today. She had him lift his arms and legs looked at his neck and shoulders and said that they would start tomorrow on a work out plan. I really don't know how he will do. When anyone talked to him today he just spaced out. His eyes would roll up in the back of his head and his mouth would hang open. He sleep most of the day. Around 5 he finally ate for the first time of the day. They brought him a hamburger for his dinner. I'm getting really scared about him. I just don't know. Maybe tomorrow will be better, one can only hope and pray.

10/24

Well today daddy had his rehab. They said that he did really well. After they brought him back to the room I said that I would be glad when he got stronger so he could get a shower because he hadn't had one in several weeks. Just sponge bathes. Well, they got a x-large bathroom wheelchair and took him down the hall and gave him a shower. When he came back they gave him a pain pill and he slept most of the rest of day. When they came to get blood the nurse ask him if he was having trouble breathing. He told her a little so she called the doctor to see about getting him oxgyen. Today when he did talk to me he was imagineing things. He looked out the window and laughed and ask me if I could see those people out there? There were no people. Then once he wanted to know where he was. And where were the other two guys? He said well yesterday there where three of them. I have no idea what he was talking about. He didn't eat but a couple of bits today. The nurse said he had thrush so she would get something from the doctor for it and when it cleared up he would hopefully start to taste again. Lori is going to see him tonight on her way home. I told her to go to McDonalds and get him a cheese burger. In the morning I'm going to get him a egg Mc Muffin . He always loved them. Like I said its like a roller coaster ride..... one minute I think he is better and then the next he has slipped again.

Today

This morning daddy was hurting really bad. He didn't eat any breakfast. They came and cleaned him up , got him dressed and in the wheelchair. Then they finally gave him a pain pill. He wanted to know where he was. Wanted to go into the hall. I pushed him out into the hall and he said take me back put me back in bed. The two girls showed up to take him to rehab. They told me to go and come back in a hour. I came back early and found daddy back in the bed. He didn't get rehab because the pain pill hadn't had time to kick in and he hurt to bad. He slept till lunch. He took about 4 bites of the meat and that was all he wanted. He went to sleep and didn't get up till supper. One bite of his sandwich and 4 spoonfuls of soup and that was it. When I left at 6 he was falling asleep again. All he wants to do is sleep. If he keeps this up he will waste away. He still talks all confused at times and at other times as clear as a bell. He gets really angry with me at times so I try to just sit real quite in the corner

It just hasn't been fair to them. They spent a year and a half taking care of my grandmother when she got sick and then immediately had to deal with this. I wanted my parents to be able to go into the sunset not having to deal with this crap.

spookykidsf2k @ 2007-09-04T22:55:00

2007-09-04T03:57:59Z

It's hard to believe that it has been seven years. It's been a lot to think about. I will say that I am in a better place now than I was.

An update

2007-01-17T22:54:49Z

Much has occurred since I last wrote upon these electric pages.

However, I will update with the latest of things.

I will be doing this in the summer.

Yes, I am a full-fledged member and will be marching a contra and in a kilt.

If you happen to be near Racine and want something to do this summer, come march with meeeeeeeee!

Status Report

2006-12-12T00:34:51Z

The child and wife will be gone until late Saturday.

I have enjoyed the quiet and the extra sleeping..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I have hopefully straightened out the situation with Ford Credit. Once I send GEICO an official police report, I will get my $567 back.

For my birthday, I got Bully for the PS2 and I have to say that THIS is in my top 5 PS 2 games. More on this later. My top 5 though (no order)

1. Bully
2. Fatal Frame 1&2
3. Silent Hill 2&3
4. Guitar Hero
5. Katamari Damacy

For early XMAS (due to all the travelling) Kelly and I decided to get the family a big present. She was able to get a Nintento DS dirt cheap. I used my Target gift certificate to get Brain Age and Big Brain Academy (both most excellent indeed). My son got a Yugioh and Sonic game and Kelly got Animal Crossing. We have had a lot of fun with this.

The big present was the XBOX 360. Kelly got Viva Pinata and I got Dead Rising and Gears of War.

I bought Gears of War partly because of word of mouth and partly to support a fellow Goon (Cliffy B). This is simply the finest first person shooter around. The guys at ID Software might want to sit down and take notes, because Cliffy B just raised the bar about a mile high.

Tomorrow, people from the Airport Sound Insulation people come by to do the initial home inventory. Thanks to the fact that we live next to O'Hare and live under the flight path, we are getting all new windows and doors. So those two cracked windows are now moot. When things are said and done in the next year, we will have about ten thousand dollars worth of work done. Nice to see something good come our way.

I have been practicing a lot. I really like where I am going as a player. However, I have come upon a sad realization. I may not be able to get my masters up here. I just don't know if there's anyway to get a master and not sacrifice time for Zach. I guess this is the sacrifice we make to be a good parent.

I have come up with a new game. I like how it is shaping up. I am about ready to make a test game before I leave for Texas. I'm hoping to hear from Token and get some input from him.

The drill website is almost ready. I just need to make some animation examples and scan some drill pics for the site. My goal is to have the site up and running by February.

Finally, I have been working on the website for Lone Star. It can be found at http://lonestardbc.tripod.com . Check out what I have done.

That's it for now.

BSG

2006-10-29T11:32:04Z

Here's a nice little pic I did. For anyone who watches the show, it's pretty self-explanitory...

Random the Soundtrack

2006-10-27T22:06:23Z

I got this from fellow Sissy scaracetera: So, here's how it works: Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).Put it on shuffle. Press play. For every question, type the song that's playing. When you go to a new question press the next button. Some songs fit perfectly. Opening Credits: The Beautiful People – Marilyn Manson Waking Up: Dark Side of The Moon – Pink Floyd Falling in Love: All You Need Is Love – The Beatles Fight scene: The Beautiful People – Marilyn Manson Breaking up: The First Cut Is The Deepest – Cat Stevens Getting back together: Tonight Tonight – The Smashing Pumpkins Love Scene: Your Song – Ewan McGregor (Moulin Rouge) Life's okay: Daylight - Coldplay Mental breakdown: Country Death Song – Violent Femmes Driving Flashback: When Love and Hate Collide – Def Leppard Partying: Whistling In The Dark – They Might Be Giants Happy Dance: I Don’t Feel Like Dancing – Scissor Sisters Regretting: ’39 - Queen Long night alone: Changes – David Bowie Final Battle: Tank! – Yoko Kanno Death scene: Dies Irae - Verdi End credits: Come Sail Away - Styx

Damn it

2006-10-27T21:40:55Z

It looks like I will be getting a root canal on Tuesday. See kids! You can take really good care of your teeth and still have them backstab you.

And now the sequel

2006-09-21T23:39:30Z

Here is part two of Baltarstar Wackalactica...

Lookie at what I made!!!!

2006-09-20T03:33:13Z

Enjoy the insanity...

Strange Dream

2006-09-12T15:47:56Z

I've decided to use this as a dream journal whenever I do remember my dreams.

My dreams always leave me a bit disoriented. I usually dream in color and in first person, so many time, I don't realize that I am dreaming.

It will sound bizarre and I don't even want to try to translate this one.

I was at a giant mall in France on the shores of the ocean. I was with my friend from high school, Jack, and Henwy from Sissyfight. We were all with our families there. For some reason, we split off and agreed to meet them later. We were exploring this mall, which was both outdoor and indoor. It was a very upscale mall, with 3 floors. We stopped to eat at a restaurant that was on a hill overlooking a Versailles style garden. The place was shapped like a double-decker bus.

We get to where we are supposed to meet our families but most of the stores in the mall closed at 5 and the mall lights were off. People were somehow milling about. We stepped outside for a moment to get our bearings. The mall was right on the beach and against the ocean. We went back inside to look for our families. At that point, my alarm clock went off and I awoke.

Yea...strange...

Maybe David Lynch is controlling my dreams.

A Sad Anniversary

2006-09-05T04:52:52Z

It's been six years since Donna passed away. It's been something that has been dwelling on both mine and Zach's minds. Tonight, as we were about to leave to go to McDonald's, he wanted to talk.

So talk we did. I talked and answered any questions he had. I told him why Donna got sick and what she went through. I talked about how much she loved him and all the thing she had done for him.

Steady....take a deep breath...I don't want this to get too emotional right now. I'l save that for later.

I told him about how he said good-bye to Donna and how he wanted to give everyone flowers at the burial so they would all be happy.

There are time when I love the little guy more than anything else.

The talk seemed to really sink in with him. He tries so damn hard.

On to a more frustrating matter...

Donna was on the Ya-Ya board. She developed a lot of real friendships there and we got a lot of support from the Ya-ya sisters. After Donna's death, I would post on there to let them know how things were going. Unfortunately, I lost Donna's profile info and was not able to access the account.

Someone however still had the info.

I get on tonight and post under a new account. I let them know how things are going. I'm suddenly getting attacked and there were doubts as to who I was. It turns out someone else had posted earlier under Donna's account and upset a lot of people on the boards. In their wisdom, the administrators of the Ya-Ya Boards decided to wipe out all my stuff.

WTF? Seriously!

Not the night to do this shit to me.

Fuck it.

Some Shocking Drum Corps News

2006-08-30T02:47:19Z

The following was posted by Michael Boo on the DrumCorpsPlanet Forums.

[i][i]I received an e-mail from Scott Boerma just now. He requested that I pass along the following information. The following is extracted from his request and I forward it for informational purposes only.[/i][/i]

"As of last evening, I have officially resigned as the Brass Arranger and Brass Co-Caption Head as has Mark Waymire as the Brass Co-Caption Head. Most of our brass staff members resigned last night as well. I have been with the Madison Scouts for 23 years (18 as the arranger), so it is with heavy heart that I did this.

The caption heads for all other captions have also resigned, as well as a significant number of instructors and administrative staff.

My purpose for this letter to you is simply that of information. Please feel free to share this information with anyone you know, be it online or through word of mouth."

I am totally floored by this. Mark was on Regiment staff when I marched. Scott IS the Madison Sound. I've known many of the staff of Madison and am surprised and saddened by this. It just seems that Madison is having some problems. It sucks, since they are one of my favorite corps. I really hope that the Scouts can regain their balance after this and the loss of their director. The last thing DCI needs is the Men from Madison to plummet. As far as I'm concerned, it's like one of the signs of the Apocalypse.

Some Sad News

2006-08-28T22:57:48Z

Well, the weather was not so lovely today.

It was also obvious that the Chenault family is much more worn down that meets the eye.

I took Zach to the dentist to get the rest of his work done. It would have been done sooner, but we had a fiasco with the dental insurance. For some reason, they changed the policy from a family one to one that just covered Kelly. We found out the hard way when we tried to get reimbursed for almost $600 in work. Yep, guess who got to hold the bag on that one. Another unexpected domino added to the finacial act.

Good news at least was that the work done was rather quick and overall, he's in good shape. I however need to find a good adult dentist with a filling that has decided to pop out.

Right when Zach and I got home, I got a call from Rachel. Token's mom has not been doing well at all. Recently, Rachel and Token hauled it over to Toledo when it looked really bad. Sadly it has been a slow decline and they just put her in hospice care. Well, she passed away this morning. Chris is in shock needless to be said. Unfortunately, I know all too well what he's going through.

Kelly is heading off with them Wednesday to attend the funeral on Thursday. It's a very good idea. Token needs as much support as possible right now.

WTF

2006-08-24T05:48:45Z

Recently, I have noticed a trend on LiveJournal of a lot of stressed out people and lots of sad faces.

I have something that might brighten your day a bit.

Words That Follow

To quote the site:

Ever seen Mystery Science Theater 3000? Well, apply that concept to photographs and you have Words That Follow. Everyone attempts to come up with a creative and witty caption for the picture and then votes on whichever they think is the best. The more votes you get, the higher your score, so you'd better make it good! Oh, and did I mention that you only have 45 seconds?

This was honestly some of the best fun that Mrs. Spooky and I have had in a while online. The only thing this game needs is more people playing. Give it a try. It's a blast and you will get a laugh or two out of it.

Why you should be watching Dethklok

2006-08-21T11:28:58Z

This represents one of the finest comedic moments on Adult Swim. The combination of the look on his face and the way Nathan Explosion says NOTHING makes this damn funny

Lancaster Band Website

2006-08-19T00:41:46Z

Recently, my mom has taken it upon herself to get together the entire family history. And I'm talking Chenaults, Yearouts, and all the periphial families. She has turned one of the extra bedrooms into her headquarters. I'm impressed with the work she has done.

It's kind of rubbed off on me and I have decided to take it upon myself to track down the history of the Lancaster Band Program. I have also found out in my searching on the internet that two former directors have passed away (Mr. Blassinggame and Mr. Badgett). I realize now that time is of the essense. It shall be a major yet interesting undertaking (along with a similiar project for my former drum corps that I was staff on). I do plan on putting the results up on a website.

My brother and I have always tossed around the idea of a band reunion. Perhaps this is the first step to accomplishing such a goal.

If you are out there and you have any info on the Lancaster band programs (from All-District results to music performed) send it to me.

spookykidsf2k @ 2006-07-23T14:21:00

2006-07-23T20:08:57Z

The last few years, I have had a problem that has creeped up. I can never predict when it occurs, but its almost a claustrophobia of memories. Or rather the inability to grasp every detail of the past. At times it almost feels like the memories are closing in. I can never predict when they occur or the subject.

For example, I'm sitting on my couch watching Soylent Green and I'm watching the scene when Sol goes to the Suicide Center (assisted by the Dad from 8 is Enough!). Suddenly, this overwhelming feeling of guilt constricts me because I couldn't remember the details of my first honeymoon.

I refuse to let this feeling, as creepy as it is, rule my life. I intent to live life for all its worth and I do not want to be corralled by what was. I think though one way that will help is to write down as much as I do remember and add when it comes to me.

SECOND HONEYMOON

Long story short, Donna and I had a nice little wedding. We lost a good number of people that were supposed to be there for two reasons:

1) We had a huge snowstorm move in (As Garrick said, "Hell did freeze over! Donna got married!")
2) Kansas State was playing in its first bowl game in a bajillion years.

Originally, Donna and I were going to do our honeymoon in Kansas City. There was this really cool hotel we were going to stay at. We were going to go to clubs, listen to lots of jazz, and have a really good time.

A snowed in Kansas City said otherwise.

After a few moments of not sure what to do, we decide to hang out in Austin.

First we went to Topeka to see The Treasures of the Czars. We saw a lot of really cool stuff that had never been seen outside Russia. We also had the thrill of experiencing Fred Phelps and his oh so tolerant Westboro Baptist Church years before the rest of the world did.

We ended up with a really nice hotel room in Austin with a view of the Town Lake. The weird thing I remember is that the elevator did not go up to our floor. For some reason we had to take a second elevator (I guess they added some extra floors at some point). There was also a pool at the top of the Holiday Inn. We spent our honeymoon hanging around Sixth Street, swimming, drinking a lot, eating at some great out of the way places, and playing lots of pool. There was very little sleep because of wandering much of Sixth Street. We also wandered around a bunch of really cool record and book stores.

Aha! Found the site of the hotel. http://sanantonio.hotel-masters.com/p10679.shtml

We were at the top of the round tower. Now I remember why we had to take two elevators.

Now while this wasn't Europe or anything like that, it doesn't matter. We had a blast especially since this whole thing was done at the last second.

Weight of the World

2006-07-22T10:10:00Z

I mayhaps have figure one reason for my restless sleep. It is my belief that there are times when our deceased loved ones reach out from beyond the Veil in the hopes that their story is told. I think that this might be one of those times. Perhaps its a way to remind me that I should be happy where things are now and how far I had fallen. I have no reason to put this down, except for the fact that I must. I must put this down and preserve the memories before they fade with the distance of experience.

FROM DONNA'S OWN WORDS
I have been cleaning out my computer. And lo and behold, I found hidden deep within a file within a file within a file this stuff written by Donna. Again, it's my duty to give my late wife a opportunity to be heard and why I love her so much:

Life is remarkable. I really don’t think that it happens by chance. The thing is, there is a plan out there, you just don’t get privy to it. When you see the big picture, it’s really too late most of the time. What really has shocked me is how one sentence, one question, one desire or observation can alter your life. These life altering situations can happen and you don’t even realize what happened for years most of the time. What would my life be without hearing things like, “We’re really short of housing, for instance we have three kids coming in from Alabama tomorrow and no place for them to stay.” Those guys from Alabama opened the world of drum corps open to me and one of them, Danny, became my big brother. Or the time I returned from the State Fair and my mom said, “We’re going out for dinner with the Harmons, so go clean up.” I didn’t want to go to dinner, I was tired and didn’t know what a Harmon was…but they became my second family and Garrick, their youngest son, became my best friend. When I think of how dramatically Chris Chenault changed my life as an adult I shudder at the thought of never meeting him. I met him through American On-line in a poetry room. He had actually left the room and another girl coaxed him back in because I had organized how everyone would share their poetry…he read mine and stayed. We met the next weekend and fell in love…the rest is history.

When I moved to Weslaco, Texas in 1992, I was just looking for a bit of job stability. As a teacher in Kansas, I didn’t feel that because districts were having budget cuts and nontenured teachers couldn’t count on a contract for the next year. I moved to Weslaco because this is where my sister, Julie, was teaching and I knew I could be hired here. What I didn’t know was that when I came down there was a hiring freeze! Well, I was hired anyway. I was hired to teach Sophomore through Senior English as a self-paced alternative school for non-traditional high school students. It was the most rewarding job I ever had! My students were older teens who chose to go to our school because the schedule was more flexible and fit into their work or family situations better. Many of my young adult students were married and already parents! While I was there, I also went to UT Pan American and earned my masters in Education to become a reading specialist. I was a work horse…but I needed to be because the truth was I was incredibly depressed. It was one of the worst times of my life. The year before I moved to Texas I seemed to be a top teaching candidate and well-sought out applicant. I was devastated when I was let go due to budget cuts. Then on top of that, nothing seemed to be going right for my best-friend, Garrick. We were super close through high school and college and whenever he hurt, I hurt. He had graduated from West Point and become engaged. He was commissioned to Hawaii and everything seemed ideal. Then his fiance (the first of three) dumped him and he wasn’t the same. The week I found out I wasn’t going to have my contract renewed, he had just moved to Hawaii. I felt so alone. It was a feeling I just couldn’t lift. I tried moving to Weslaco to start over, but I just got more depressed. I took so many antidepressants…! It was a real struggle for a couple of years. During that time I just buried myself in work and racked up a huge credit card debt trying to make possessions a sign of happiness or something. It was ridiculous.

When I met my husband, I wasn’t looking for love. It just happened. We met on-line and found out that both of us had marched in drum and bugle corps. I had been a Sky Ryder from 1984-1988 and he had marched in Phantom Regiment in 1989 and 1990. What pulled us together and made us want to talk to each other was that we knew a lot of the same people. I felt I could trust him. He was pretty authentic. I challenged him to find my phone number and call me. We talked from midnight to 8 a.m. The next evening he drove from Kingsville to Weslaco to meet me. Neither of us was interested in love or dating, we were just kind of homesick for a drum corps friend and felt we had found that in each other. He reminded me so much of the guys that I had marched with and been friends with for years. As the story goes, we kissed by the end of the first evening, the next day I actually said, “I love you” for the first time in my life, and the next weekend he proposed. I never believed in love at first sight, but I do believe that God just took over my life when I met Chris and put some good things in motion.

It’s not that I don’t believe God was there before. He was there, I just wasn’t listening. God has always been part of my life. I was raised Roman Catholic. My parents sent me to a Catholic grade school, Holy Cross, and I ate up the doctrine and was the perfect little Catholic school girl. When my parents sent me to public school in 7th grade, I felt like I was being thrown into the devil’s den of sin or something. My nuns had warned me about public school… “Those kids just didn’t have discipline and prayer in their lives!” Now I know that the sisters just never knew those kids.

I started to realize God was working in my life through my marriage. Three weeks after I was married I called my mother totally freaked out and said, “What were you thinking? Why did you let me marry this guy?” She thought that something was wrong. Did Chris turn from a prince into a wife-beating frog? We seemed so perfectly fit together!

“Mom! How could you do it? How could you just sit up there in Kansas and accept it when I said less than a month after a lonely Christmas that I was engaged? I must have been crazy! I barely knew this guy and I just flipped out on our second date and said, ‘Sure, I’ll marry you!’ Mother, I’d never even been in love before and suddenly I was engaged!”

“You were in love Donna! Nothing I could have said could stop you. Anyway, I realized early on that something bigger than you and Chris was in control. Something outside of you was guiding you towards the wedding the entire year. Never once did you doubt your decision. You just accepted that you had to marry him. I couldn’t explain it to any of my friends, but I knew that you and Chris were meant to be. I couldn’t pick you out a better mate.”

When I admitted to Chris that I couldn’t believe we just fell in love after twenty-four hours and were engaged after a week, he just laughed and pointed upward, “It wasn’t us, it was God.” Yeah, it must have been something from Heaven. Something not from this world. I couldn’t explain it or explain why. It didn’t fit with any belief I had ever had.

Chris and I always wanted children. Within the first month of our engagement, we were trying to decide names for our first born. I never used birth control, I believed that since we were so in love and such good people God would give us a child. After six months of trying though, we became frustrated. I started searching myself to figure out why I wasn’t pregnant. Didn’t I deserve a child? Didn’t I deserve God’s blessing? What sin had I committed that was so great that God wasn’t giving me a child. I began to feel guilty…maybe it’s because we weren’t going to mass. Maybe it’s because I never converted my husband, and it wouldn’t work to raise a child without a religious union in the Church. I’m ashamed by some of those thoughts. One day in September Chris was gone at a football game and my friend Martha invited me over to her house to eat finger foods with her. She had planned a singles meeting for her church, but nobody came. A half hour after I was there, another older woman from her church showed up. They started sharing the Bible with me and Martha told me how blessed I was to have found Chris. I loved talking about the Bible with Martha. She seemed to know so many stories and seemed to glow in Christ’s glory. I knew she was special. Her friend did one thing that stayed with me after that night. Before I left she asked me what my biggest burden was and told me that we needed to surrender it to Christ. I told her I was wanting a child yet never conceived. She told me to never give up hope and told me about Elizabeth and John the Baptist. She had waited and waited, then was blessed with one of the most important religious leaders leading up to Christ. She told me that God knew me and my wants and needs. He knew my handprint before I was born. She told me that her theory was that Heaven was full of our future children’s souls and they were just waiting on God to give them the signal that we were ready for them. As she spoke to me, my heart opened to her love for God. I saw she was special too. I started to feel that maybe I was special too. Maybe Chris was right and God was who put us together. Maybe God was waiting for the right moment to give us a child. She told me she felt God would answer my request soon.

The next day, Chris and I made love in the afternoon. We weren’t trying to make a baby, the timing wasn’t right and I knew it. Afterwards, I was resting in bed and suddenly felt an overwelming sense of love. I saw a young teenager that looked an awful lot like a cross between me and my brother-in-law. I was confused until I suddenly heard or felt a voice saying, “Don’t worry, he is coming.” The next month, I conceived. Zachary Daniel Chenault was born June 14, 1997. We were blessed.

No one could tell me why I was sick. At first the OBGYNs told me that I was just post-partum. I obviously had hemeroids, I was a bit anemic in my late pregnancy and had hemoraged after delivery. It would take awhile to regain my zip, I just needed to eat more protein. After a few months, I went to my family doctor who felt I must have had food poisoning. A week later he decided that I had developed lactose intolerance. Several members of my family and my inlaws convinced me that it was totally normal to develop food alergies or intolerances after pregnancy. I tried to see Zachary as a blessing and just accept the reality that I would never drink milk again without being sick.

By the time Thanksgiving came around, Chris was just so worried about me. I was so worn down and could barely stay awake long enough after work to feed the baby before I’d go off to bed. I thought that I just wasn’t eating correctly and that with the stress of my work situation were just playing havoic with my body. I was only frustrated because it was taking me much longer than my friends to recover from pregnancy. At Thanksgiving we stayed at home because I was too tired to travel. Our Thanksgiving menu was limited to what I could digest with out being sick. In the middle of supper, Chris said the most important thing he has ever said to me, “Donna, I’m worried. The doctor has never really found out what is wrong with you. He’s never done tests. You just aren’t doing well. If it’s really a food allergy, then I could accept it. I’m just so worried that it’s more. I want you to demand they run tests.”

I went to the family doctor again and he couldn’t believe that my food problem was getting more and more sensitive. If something had the least bit of milk in it, I couldn’t digest it. I couldn’t even digest lactose-free milk. I was only eating meat, canned fruit and cooked vegetables. He put me on some medicine, then asked me to come back on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve, he told me I needed to go to a specialists. Good, an allergist could finally get down to the bottom of this. My appointment was made for January 7th with Dr. Badiga at Mid-Valley Gastroentology. Whoa, a Gastroentologist. Was this serious?

On January 7th, I walked into the office. I was so young, they thought I was a new drug salesman or something. When I was put in the examining room I saw all of the digestive posters showing all of the problems in the digestive system and became very nervous.

“Miss, how’s Dr. Badiga?”

“He’s very nice. Very professional. Don’t worry, he’ll explain everything carefully.”

“But, what will he do?”

“He’s going to take a medical history and possibly a rectal exam to rule out possibilities or test for a problem. It won’t hurt. He will explain everything before he does it, and I’ll be here the entire time.”

The nurse was genuinely kind and saw my concern. “You know, I wouldn’t work for him unless I thought he was the best.”

The doctor knocked on the door and entered. He was a tall handsome Indian man. When he talked, I was attentive and entrapped in his accent trying to understand everything he said. If I looked the least bit puzzled, the nurse would repeat it in case I couldn’t understand his accent. I could understand the accent with no problem, I was just listening so intently because he was the first person who seemed to have answers and explanations. After he took my personal history and found out the smallest details of my history of digestion, he started to talk about Chrohn’s disease and colitis. Perhaps I had one of these diseases for some time and it had gone dormant, then after the pregnancy it flaired up again. When I left, I felt relieved. I walked out of his office with orders to meet him on the 9th for a colonoscopy so he could evaluate the damage in my intestines and make a diagnosis so I could start treatment as soon as possible.

I woke up in a recovery room after the colonoscopy. The nurses were standing away from me discussing shampoo…something about whether Panteen was really worth all of the hype. “Hey, it is the best shampoo!” I groggily chimed in. The nurses turned around and were suddenly quiet, “You better go tell Dr. Badiga she’s awake.” The nurses ignored me for a moment, then one came over, “Sweety, the doctor is going to come in and talk to you before we take you back to your room.” I felt pretty special, he really was taking care of me.

The doctor walked in and Chris followed and stood at the foot of my bed. Dr. Badiga opened the chart and began the sentence that changed my life, “I was quite pleased to see how clean your colon and lower intestine was…” he showed me a picture of a healthy swath of intestine, “until I saw this tumor up by your spleen. This is your tumor.” He pointed to a picture of an ugly egg-shaped blob. “This is your cancer. This is colon-cancer. I feel you need to talk to a surgeon today. I’ve already called for Dr. Hillmy to meet you in your room in a few minutes. You may want to think about this for a few minutes. I will come back to your room in a while in case you have questions.”

When he left, I looked at Chris and smiled so I couldn’t cry. “Well, it’s a relief to finally have a diagnosis isn’t it?” He just stood there. Finally he came over and held my hand, “I love you. I’m going to be here for you no matter what. I’m sorry that it’s cancer.”

As soon as we returned to the room, Dr. Hillmy walked in. He was a young Egyptian guy with a spring in his step. He took my hand, “So, I hear we have some cancer in there. We need to have surgery as soon as possible so you don’t get sicker. I could either take it out today, or you could come back on Monday and I could take it out then.” The way he held my hand, the way he looked at me and my husband, I instantly trusted him. I knew I couldn’t handle worrying about it all weekend.

I looked at my husband, I looked at my new doctor, “Please, just take it out today.” We discussed a few more details and then he left. I was so calm. “Chris, I’ve got to call my parents.”

I called my Mom. She wasn’t home. I started to dial my Dad’s office, then hung up. How could I tell my Dad that I had cancer? His own mother died of cancer! He had always told me that there was cancer on his side of the family.

“Is Don there? This is his daughter, Donna.”

“Yes, he is, but he’s in with a client. Could I take a message and have him return your call?” His secretary had known me for years. She knew I was three states away and a teacher. I wouldn’t be calling during work hours unless something was wrong.

“Well Janie, this is an emergency and I need my parents right now. I can’t find Mom, so could you please interrupt Dad right now?” There was a pause, no response on the line. “Just one moment Donna.”

“Yes Donna, can I help you?” My Dad always had a professional tone on the phone. I could just imagine his client sitting across the desk from him. I didn’t want to tell him like this. I didn’t want him to have to tell Mom.

“Dad, I just talked to the doctor and he said I need surgery, so I’m going in for surgery as soon as possible today. The thing is, it’s not colitis or Chrons’ disease like I told Mom the other night. He found an egg-sized tumor in my intestine up by my spleen.” I just couldn’t say it.

“Oh my God. Well Donna, maybe it’s nothing, maybe…”

“Dad, it is. It’s cancer.”

I could hear a creak and could just see it. My Dad was leaning far back in his office chair looking up at the ceiling trying not to look at his client. “I’ll have your Mom on the first flight out today. Could you call back to the office as soon as you know when you’re going in? God Donna, I wish I could come, but…”

“I know Dad, it’s tax season and you’re short of help. Really, you don’t need to send Mom. It’ll cost too much.”

“Don’t you worry about money. You’re Mom wouldn’t stand for staying here and you know it. Have you told Julie yet?”

“Julie…no, but I’ll call Dave, he can tell her.”

I didn’t want to tell Julie, but I wanted her to leave work and be here with me NOW. Julie was also a teacher in Weslaco and my closest sister. She was my best girlfriend and she practically raised me after my mom went to work. I hung up with Dad and my husband took my hand, “Oh, that was hard…” I wiped my eye. For the first time it hit me; I had cancer. I called my sister’s house and Dave didn’t answer. He was probably asleep or out running or something. I wasn’t going to leave a message, I wanted my sister now.

Chris offered to call Julie for me, but I knew that I had to say it myself. The more I said it, the more real it was. Anyway, everyone at her school knew who I was. “Hello, this is Donna Chenault. I need to speak to Julie De Leon right now. This is a family emergency. Could you please page her classroom?” I was in luck. It was her planning period and she was in the office.

“Julie, I had my test today and they found cancer. I’m going to have surgery today. Could you take off from school and come to the hospital right now?”

“Oh my…are they sure? Are you OK? When? I’ll be there. I’m leaving in five minutes. Is Chris OK? Did you call Mom? Don’t worry, I’ll be there.” She didn’t even give me a chance to talk, she just hung up.

“She’s coming.” I just smiled at Chris and sighed. It was over, I didn’t have to call anyone else.“Donna, you need to call your principal. You were going to go back to work this afternoon, remember? And I need to call Mr. Isadore, my parents…” Dr. Hillmy walked back in the room.

“Everyone OK? Well, we’re getting ready for the surgery if you’re still up for it.”

“Yes, just please get it out. I’m so tired of being sick. I couldn’t sit around for another weekend and worry about it.”

“Good. We’re going to take you to another room and a nurse will come in and take your vitals, put on your surgical hose, and ask you a few questions. I’d like to take a moment and explain what will happen in surgery.” He sat on the edge of my bed. “I’m going in with a lateral cut. My goal is to remove all of the cancer. There is the possibility that I may have to take your spleen also depending on how the intestine around it looks. You will be fine without a spleen, you’ll just have to take medicine. I will be taking out a section of your intestine and then hooking it back together. I will also be taking out several lymph nodes to see if the cancer had spread beyond the intestine. There’s the possibility that when I go in I may see another organ where the cancer is spread. If that happens, I’ll come out and talk to Chris before I continue.” The doctor paused and I took a deep breath. This was for real. “With your age, everything is on our side. Let’s not think about the worst until it happens.”

The doctor left and I was transported to another room on another floor. Shortly after I arrived there, Julie and her husband Dave met up with us. I was sitting up straight indian style on my bed. I didn’t look or feel like I had cancer. I felt relieved, relieved that they found out what was wrong. Chris was pretty calm under the circumstances. Julie was strong and supportive, but Dave was showing his nerves. To try and keep a façade of calmness, Dave was joking around. He took one of the latex gloves from the lavatory and put it over his head. He looked like a poster boy for safe sex or something. We were all laughing just to keep our minds off of the seriousness of the situation. At 1:00 I sent Chris to go get himself some lunch. We thought the doctor said it would be about 3:00 before they would be ready for me in surgery, but at 1:30 they took me to get prepped and Chris wasn’t back. It was OK with me, I knew that he loved me and would be praying for me during surgery.

In the prep room they put a hair net on me, started a new drip in my I.V. and talked to me about my surgery. The nurses couldn’t believe that at 29 I was having colon cancer. I was calm and relaxed. Looking back on this I should add that I was naïve…I had no idea of the pain and fear this surgery would cause me! I had no idea how this one day was going to change everything. I just completely trusted that my doctors would take care of me.

I woke up in a room. Through a daze of drug fog, I could see my Mom. The room seemed to be full of people, but I just focused on her. It was dark outside, probably way past visiting hours, but she was there as promised. “Mom, I love you.” She was telling me that people were calling and Chris had been talking to friends and family. I couldn’t follow it, but I knew people were worried. She said something about Garrick, and something about my oldest sister Cheryl. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

A year and a half later I told my Mom that it was so comforting to me that she came to the hospital as soon as she got to town. I told her that I always worried that I had hurt Chris by addressing her that night and not talking to him. It was something that always bothered me, but the reality was that I had always wanted my mommy when I was sick. I was happy she was there. As I was describing the memory to Mom, she told me I had it all wrong…she was there in the room alone. My husband wasn’t there, my sister wasn’t there, the nurses weren’t there. I distinctly remember my husband in the chair. I remember the nurses standing in white next to my bed adjusting the I.V. and monitors. Mom explained that maybe I had been awake other times and my mind put everything together in one memory, but I believe it was something else. I think Jesus was watching over me and his angels were taking care of me.

The next morning my room began to fill with flowers. My mother sent flowers, my sisters sent flowers, my in-laws…everyone seemed to be showering me with flowers. My mother was there bright and early as the nurses made sure I was awake and talking. Recovery was going to start today. I would be dangling legs, getting out of bed, sitting in a chair. This seemed so unreal. I was catheterized, had inflating cuffs on my legs, an I.V. in my arm, monitors still on my chest. I was afraid to move even my hand!

I began to remember the night before. Someone was so shocked by the news that they were driving in. Was it Garrick? Wasn't he still on vacation for a few more days? Surely he wouldn’t come in from Oklahoma by himself. He had been through so much lately. I had just seen him last week and he was miserable trying to cope with the fact that his second attempt at marriage failed…two fiances and two called off weddings. He had enough grief without me adding to it. Was it Cheryl? She and Tom had just visited in October. They didn’t have a lot of money. Would she come? Ever since I married Chris, Cheryl and I had greatly improved our relationship.

“Mom, who’s coming?” Mom couldn’t believe I remembered. It was Cheryl. Cheryl was on her way from Tuscon. Before my Mom left Kansas, she told my sister, Ellen, and she called Cheryl. Cheryl immediately left work, packed a bag, and left Arizona.

A knock on the door and a friendly face, David Eaton from First Baptist church just happened to be doing his rounds and wanted to drop by and see how I was. He was Zachary’s daycare director. I thanked him for taking care of things the day before when I went to surgery. The visit was short, but it ended in prayer. He asked God to be with us and help me heal.

When he left, my mother commented that it was really nice of him to come pray with us. He didn’t have to. Afterall, I was a member of another church, the Catholic Church.

I remember Cheryl’s arrival. She just came in and took over. Was I comfortable? Were the nurses treating me well? Was I in pain? How was I taking all of this? She helped me make a list of things I wanted Chris to find and bring from the house. She promised to help Chris take down the Christmas tree and put away our vacation bags. She promised to return the next morning.

Dr. Hillmy made his rounds and explained the surgery. He took out about eight inches of the intestine and about six lymph nodes. My spleen was still there. He thought he got it all. He sent everything to pathology and it would be a few days before we heard back. At that point, they could say how advanced the cancer was. He was upbeat and positive. I seemed to be doing well and handling everything fine. I felt good as long as the painkillers kept coming!

The days started to have a pattern. Cheryl would come in the morning and help me shower. I only had an I.V., so she would help me maneuver around that and wash my hair and suds up with the raspberry soaps and shampoos the science department at school had sent me. It was a very comforting part of the day. As we freshened up, she would tell me what Zachary had been up to. He was thrilled to see his Uncle Tom show up and Tom became the official baby-sitter. I seemed so under control and calm, and I explained that I had been thinking a lot about Grandma Scott and her battle with cancer. We talked about Grandma being such a strong woman. She seemed really touched by God.

Around eleven Mom would come in and the florists would begin all their deliveries. It was an exciting part of the day!! Mom and I would watch our soap operas together. Our viewing would be interrupted now and then by nurses, flower deliveries, or visitors. People all over seemed to know I was ill and were sending flowers and notes saying they were praying for me. Everyday Chris would visit me during his lunch hour. He was always thrilled to see my progress with the clear liquids and jello to solid foods. Eating was a struggle and something I didn’t want to do. If I didn’t have Mom or Chris standing there, I wouldn’t eat. The food was horrible, but they would find things I liked and make sure they showed up on my tray. When I was allowed solid food, I was totally turned off by the food the cafeteria served, so Mom asked Dr. Hillmy if she could bring in food. They agreed that it was a good idea to try and get me to eat anything. After lunch, Mom would make me walk and then I’d nap as she watched more soaps.

I most looked forward to the hours after four when Chris was off of work. It was a quiet comfort to have him around. He wouldn’t make me talk about how I felt, or what I went through during the day. He just listened to what I had to say and then shared his day. It was like any other day after work. He would read the paper and bring me my mail. Everyday there were more and more cards. Danny and Christine in Florida, Uncle Jimmy in Las Vegas, relatives of Chris’ that I’d never met in Illinois, former co-workers in Kansas, Mrs. Stoecklien my childhood babysitter, my mother’s dear friend Pat. I began to sense that people really cared and it was inspiring for me to push on.

When school was out, I would have visitors from work. On Monday, Ginny, the girl who taught across the hall from my room, was admitted to the hospital for surgery on a cyst on her ovary. We shared many visitors and sent messages between each other with our friends. The nurses wouldn’t let me see her because she had a fever.

My most memorable visitors were Sylvia and Kara. Sylvia was the science department head on our campus and the mother-hen to all. Even though she only looked 35, she was once the teacher of several teachers and administrators on our campus. Sylvia came by quickly one day after school and took my hands and tearfully explained to me that she had spent the weekend praying for me. Tears welled in my eyes because I couldn’t believe she cared so much. I had never really spent much time with her, she seemed busy and was running off to her next task. Kara was a genuinely nice math teacher. I’d never spent much time socializing with her, but I always wanted to spend more time with her. Kara actually stopped by a couple times while I was in the hospital and tried to bring magazines, game books, or something different to spend my time with.

I really shocked several people because I was not too upset with my diagnosis. I think most of the time in the hospital I spent just basking in the realization that there were so many people that really cared about me. People were writing, calling, sending flowers, visiting…I couldn’t get over it. Everyday I just woke up wondering who I would hear from next. Maybe it was all the morphine, but I remember smiling a lot. I wouldn’t let anyone around me say anything negative. At times I was the big cheerleader trying to convince everyone not to be upset. When friends and family would call long-distance, I was the one saying, “Everything will be alright.” Deep in my heart I knew that my life was finally on track. I had spent several years in deep depression, and when I met my husband in January of ’95, just two years earlier, everything changed. Once I fell in love with him, depression was gone forever. Marrying Chris was a dream I never thought would come true. When Zachary was born in June, I couldn’t believe how blessed I was. I never dreamed of having my own family. Things were going great. There was no way that I could let cancer take all of that away. I didn’t see how God could let me have cancer just to take all of that away either. It was just a stage of life that I’d have to get through.

January 14,1997, was the second anniversary of the day I met Chris. It was the anniversary of the day my life changed forever.

In January of ’95 I was exploring America On-line. Life was a little lonely. I had been teaching in Weslaco for a year and a half and had worked on my Masters since May. I was a work-a-holic and was never home. I had just returned from Christmas break and put a week of work under my belt. My classes at the university hadn’t started yet, so I had some time on my hands. That’s how I ended up on AOL. I met Chris in a poetry room. We were sharing poetry and he looked up my biography. He noticed I mentioned drum corps, so he IM’ed me to talk about drum corps. In ‘84-’88 I had marched in the Sky Ryders Drum and Bugle Corps and in ‘89-’90 he marched in Phantom Regiment. Then next time I talked to Chris I sarcastically asked him why he never called me. I had mentioned the night before that I lived in a town only two hours away from where he lived and that my number was listed. When I got off-line, he called and we talked on the phone from midnight to seven a.m.! I never felt awkward talking to him. I had this feeling that I had always known him. We shared the same opinions about many things. We shared drum corps war stories and found out we knew a lot of the same people. We loved the same people and were annoyed by the same people. When he told me he had a version of the ’87 Sky Ryders on video that I’d never seen, I casually invited him to come visit me. When we hung up that morning, I knew I would call him again and ask him to visit. Talking to him was like talking to my best friends from drum corps.

It was less than five hours after I hung up that I was on the phone begging him to come visit me that night! There was something about talking to him…a comfort that I hadn’t felt in so long…and I wasn’t going to let it go. I was an insomniac, so it didn’t bother me that I hadn’t slept, I just asked him to jump in a car and come see me. He promised to drive down after he took a nap.

After I knew he was on the road, I started to get nervous. What had I done? He could be a mass murderer or something! When I went down stairs to Marcy’s apartment, I expected her to tell me I was crazy. I figured she would know how I could get out of this meeting alive. Instead she told me the weirdest thing, she told me that he sounded like someone I would marry! She insisted on two things: I had to go clean up my apartment, and I had to wear something besides my typical shorts and sloppy sweatshirt with a ponytail. Reluctantly, I picked up my apartment and put on my best black jeans and purple silk shirt. I brushed out my hair and put on some make up. I hadn’t spent this much time on my appearance since I left Kansas. I returned to Marcy’s to hide out and spy. I would wait at her apartment and wait for him to drive up. If he looked like a mass murderer, I would stay at Marcy’s and not answer the door.

He drove up and got out of the car. Marcy tried to push me upstairs to go answer my door, “Donna! He’s a hotty!” He looked into my empty apartment rather worried, then I called out to him, “Are you Chris? I’m down here!” I figured it was best to meet him on neutral territory and get some feedback from Marcy.

He seemed nice. The only thing that didn’t seem right was that he was my height, 5’10” and not the 5’11” he had said. He was built-broad shoulders, a thick waist, and beautifully muscular legs. He was dressed in a long sleeved hooded t-shirt and shorts. He had a short dark hair and a quiet nerd quality.

Marcy pushed us out of her door and sent us out to dinner. She didn’t even give him a chance to put his bag in my apartment. We went to McAllen and ate dinner at the Olive Garden. We sat and resumed our conversation from the night before. I felt so at ease with him and by dessert I was hoping that he would want to come back to visit me again. I couldn’t believe that I had found someone to be friends with that was so much like my friends from high school and college. I had been feeling so disconnected since I had moved to Weslaco, and this guy seemed to bring me back to that feeling of home.

We went to a movie and he held my hand throughout it. He actually took my hand and kissed it. The only problem was that he wasn’t trying to kiss me. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to kiss him! After the movie, he drove me home and I let him bring his bag upstairs. He had brought his sleeping bag because we had discussed sleeping on the floor and watching drum corps videos all night long. We settled on the couch and I waited to kiss him. I was beginning to wonder if I had just imagined him kissing my hand because all he seemed interested in was looking at my drum corps scrapbooks. I was a bit put off and insulted to say the least. Finally I said I wanted to get more comfortable for the evening and went to my bedroom to change. Why did I dress up for this guy? I grabbed my favorite comfort clothes thinking they would protect me if he did try anything weird on me…I put on a gray wrestler suit type leotard with some cotton black jersey shorts over them and a big old purple sweatshirt. In the bathroom I took off my makeup carefully and threw my hair up in a pony tail…this guy wasn’t worth getting zits over by keeping my makeup on!!!!

Grabbing a pair of socks I came through the door declaring, “Hey, this is who I really am, like it or leave it!!!” He smiled and said I looked really comfortable! Before I sat down though, he had one request…did I have my Sky Ryder member jacket so he could see it? That was weird…and he was in luck… I had just brought it to Texas during Christmas break. It was one of the few things I had left behind in Kansas when I moved to TX the prior year!!!!

When I came out with the jacket he started smiling ear to ear!!! I pulled off the dry cleaning cover and showed him the patches I’d earned the five years I marched…two for semifinalist and three for top 12 finalist…did he wish to see my medals too? I started to go back to my room for the medals, and he just patted the couch and asked me to sit next to him. He reopened a scrapbook and pointed to a picture of me rehearsing…”So that’s really you at a drum corps rehearsal?” Duh, didn’t I show him that picture about a half hour ago? “Thanks for showing me your jacket…I just had to be sure you were for real!!!” He leaned over and took my chin in his hands and kissed me!!! I’d never felt this before, but my toes curled!!!! I couldn’t stop smiling!!!! I looked at him and he was smiling ear to ear too!!!! “I can’t believe we found each other!!!” he said. Yeah, he was right…for the first time in my life, I felt complete…by just a kiss. I’d never felt anything like it before.

*sigh* Perspective tends to grant one wisdom. One cannot see the big picture until they have stepped away from it far enough. Initially Donna and I had been amazed at the speed that our relationship went. It had been a lifetime crammed into half a decade. Looking back, I realized that God knew that Donna didn't have a lot of time left on Earth and decided, for us, that all the relationship red tape that most people deal with would be cut for us. I am so damn grateful for the time I had with Donna. Reading through these journal entries of hers allows me to remind myself what a wonderful woman Donna was and how incredibly damn lucky I was to have been a part of her life. Good night my bright shining star.

PART THE FIRST
This all starts back in 1997, a few months after my son was born. I had been fortunate to fall in love with and marry a wonderful woman. She was the love of my life and my soulmate. We had made such wonderful plans together. I look back at a video that had been made in October of that year when my sister-in-law Cheryl and her husband Tom came from Arizona to visit. When I see that video, the future seems to be boundless for the young family on it. They looked so wonderfully happy, the kind of happy that most people never can find.

Donna had been complaining about discomfort when she had dairy products. Everyone around us chalked it up to a possible allergy stemming from having Zach (my mom is deadly allergic to pork products and my mother-in-law is deadly allergic to mushrooms - both resulting from pregnancies). I grew concerned because as time went by, the allergy grew worse and worse. It got to the point where if there was even a slight amount of any kind of dairy, it would make her sick. I finally made her go to the doctor. After talking to Donna, the doctor sent her to a specialist. The specialist wanted to do a colonoscopy to see what the problem was. He was thinking that the problem was Crohn's disease or Colitus. We did our fair share of research and realized that our lives would change. But to allow Donna to be healthy, any sacrifice would be worth it. We went up to Dallas that Christmas with a lot of hope that all would be well when we returned in January.

It is almost a month later that I find myself waiting for Donna to return from the colonoscopy. I look up at the television. Then President Clinton has come down to the Rio Grande Valley and my band, the Weslaco Panther Corps, is playing for President Clinton. I was very fortunate to have a boss that was very understanding about these things and me being at my wife's side was no problem. I'm sitting in my Friday outfit of staff shirt and blue jeans (Donna guessing that after she recovers from the colonoscopy, that she would kick my butt back to work in the afternoon). A nurse walks into the room and asks me to accompany her. Hmmmm, this is a bit different than what they had said would happen.

I am led to the recovery area. Individual patients are accorded some privacy by curtained partitions. I am brought to where Donna is, which is near the exit door. The nurse leaves telling me that the doctor will soon be here. Donna is a bit groggy but still exhibits her sense of humor by telling me she felt like she was being inflated for Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We anxiously await the doctor.

He parts the curtain and walks in. There is a very serious look on his face. Both Donna and I think that he discovered Crohn's disease and that it would require a lot of work for Donna to feel more normal. But it's what comes out of his mouth that is so shocking. He doesn't say “There's something there I'm concerned about.” or “There is some growth we have discovered.” He says flat-out...

“I discovered cancer in Donna's colon.”

We both suddenly reel with the shock of his statement. Our brains sit there processing what we have heard. My stomach sinks at the reality at what has been said. I look over at Donna. Mentally, she has retreated to a far place in her mind at the realization that her own body has betrayed her.

The doctor tells us the plain facts. Donna will have to have surgery to remove the tumor. He shows us pictures from the colonoscopy. We see a egg-sized object nestled against the walls of her colon. The doctor says that we can schedule the surgery for later in the month. He also says that we could do the surgery now. Donna is already prepped and the doctor says that the surgeon is availible.

I call everyone I can think of. The next ten hours are a blur. My mother-in-law gets on a plane that very day. I remember the dead silence from my boss when I tell him the news. I also remember telling Donna that we would get through this together and that I would walk up to the Gates of Hell for her. I also remember Donna giving me one of the biggest hugs ever as a result. *sigh* I also can remember the slight dread I felt as they wheeled Donna off to the operating theater. I realized that our lives were changing in a way we did not want. The only concrete thing I can remember was Julie and I sitting in the waiting room dealing with our own individual worries about Donna and just needing the security of having someone there who was going through the same thing.

The next day, my wife is totally drugged up. She was in for well over 9 hours of major surgery. They took out the tumor as well as a 8 inch section of her large intestine. The good news is that Donna made it through the surgery without a hitch and should recover well. When she awoke, her oncologist comes in to talk to us about the next step. He is a very experienced and very compassionate man. He tells us that the tumor Donna had was of a aggressive strain that they had never seen before. He is thinking that the cancer may have started growing within a few short months. They term what Donna had as a stage 4 tumor, meaning that there was a chance that the tumor had a chance to spread. So the option is chemotherapy.

One of the first things that Donna asked is about birth defects. The onocologist sadly tells us with what Donna will go through, that there is a possible chance of difficulties with conceiving and bring to full-term a baby, much less a healthy one. So we make the first of many sacrifices to the dark god that is Cancer.

We had planned to have three kids. Somewhere in my house there is a notebook that tells all about the three children we were going to have. It was never a question of if we would have more children but when. The first one came to pass and so far, Zachary Daniel exceeds everything we had hoped for. So in a way, the decision not to have anymore children was like losing two children. We mourned for them as if we had lost them on earth. I like to think now that up in Heaven that Donna is with the two children that we could never have.

So begins six long months. Six months of intermitant hospital stays, of cleaning the gaping holes from her surgery, of watching my wife go through chemotherapy. On a regular basis, we would drive the half-hour to McAllen to the South Texas Cancer Center and she would go through a chemotherapy regimin. And then she would become sick and weak for days. She would do good to have the energy to move from the bedroom to the living room of our small condo.

At this point, Donna had used up all her sick leave. She was about to get to the point where the school district we worked for would start docking her for full days. Now in many school districts, when someone becomes sick like Donna was, a sick leave pool is created. Employees of the district donated some of their sick leave to help out the person who is sick. A teacher that Donna had taught with in Kansas had used this to much success.

It was like hitting a brick wall over and over and over again. We were told "no" over and over again, even though there were hundreds of teachers and administrators that wanted to give Donna their sick leave (including me - I had over 30 days accumulated). I finally confronted the district superintendent on this. I was told there was no policy in place because people might abuse the policy - grrrrrrrrr. In spite of fighting against this and in spite of the support of people at the Administration building, Donna's request was denied. Suddenly we went from a two income family that was at the point of doing well finacially to a one income family that was struggling.

(post-script on this topic - Last year, the other directors were trying to keep this flyer away from me. I lost it when I read it. The district was doing a sick leave pool for a custodian. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Even now, I want to punch my fist through the goddamn office window. I'm not angry at the custodian. I'm angry at the fucking district. My district used my wife until she was useless to them and cast her aside...more on this soon)

Another sacrifice was made soon after. It had always been my dream to get my own tuba. However, tubas are what one would not call cheap. I had been saving up money in the hopes of one day getting my horn. However, the few thousand I had saved up went into keeping my family afloat. One strange thing along this subject was that there always seemed to be a bit more money than I thought we had. A few months after Donna's passing, I realized that Donna had been quietly saving up money to buy me a tuba and that she had been doing this since we were married. She was quietly taking that money and adding it to our account to help us stay afloat. I got a lot of this from my mother-in-law. Margaret sat down and told me as much and said "Donna wanted you to have a tuba, now go get it." And I did purchase one, a beautiful silver one. And everytime I play on it in symphony, I think of Donna and how much she loved to watch me play in VSO performances. I honestly think that those were moments that she would fall in love with me more.

Well, Donna went through six months of experimental chemotherapy. We struggled but survived, thanks to the help of many wonderful people. Another sad effect was that some people that we had considered as really good friends weirded out on us. They acted as if cancer was a contagious disease. There were even a number of people that Donna had know for well over ten years that just ran away. I can only pity that they could not find the maturity to deal with Donna's cancer. I understand that this is a survival mechanism for some people, yet I think there are better ways to dealing with this than putting your head in the sand.

For a short time, we felt things were getting better. We had begun Donna's cancer free countdown. Everytime she would go for a checkup, she would literally dance down the hall. We felt for a while that we could breath.

Donna would go to Houston every couple of months for a health inspection at M.D.Anderson Cancer Center. In April, she had a appointment to check on things. She decided that there was no reason for both of us to go. So I agree to stay while she went to her appointment.

Long story short, the radiologist in Weslaco couldn't read the fucking X-Rays correctly. To this day, I firmly believe that although there is no strong evidence (and what strong evidence there was was destroyed - I know how it goes in the Valley) now, I blame the idiot who screwed up. If he had read the charts right, things could have been caught in time. All I know is that there is a special place in hell for people like this and its right next to the Cancer that afflicted Donna.

I was home checking on things between classes. I got a phone call from Donna. They had found a cancerous tumor in her liver...fuck...oh fuck. For one of the few times through this, I emotionally lose it. I feel like a total failure that Donna is in Houston dealing with this alone and I can't be there. It literally felt like I was being physically beaten. Fortunately, my pastor was able to find me. I am very thankful for Jon. He's a great person and he helped Donna and I in ways that were above and beyond what most people would do.

My wife had a liver resectioning at the beginning of July, 1999. While most people were celebrating the 4th of July, I was pondering if my wife would survived the 10+ hour surgery that took out almost 70% of her liver. My mother-in-law also picked a extremely wrong time to start a argument with me. I am not going to go into details on this, but she did learned that I am not the kind of person who is going to lie down and take crap from anyone. Both Margaret and I realized that the stress of the whole thing was getting to us and that was the last thing that Donna needed. Fortunately, we were able to solve the problem before it affected Donna.

The good news was that Donna did survive the surgery and yes, her liver did regenerate back to full side. Although the future was at best uncertain, Donna and I felt that we had earned some more breathing room.

PART THE SECOND
So Donna was able to get through her liver resectioning, done by the finest liver surgeon in the world. Unfortately, there were some bad side effects from the surgery. She spent many weeks in the hospital trying to recovery from the surgery and from infection. It was at this time that I realized that sleep was becoming a unknown commodity for me. Between taking care of Donna, Zach, the house, bills, and work, rest was gradually becoming a unknown concept.

Donna tried for a short time to go back to work, but that did not last very long. The residual effects of the chemotherapy along with the residual effects from the various surgeries had taken their toll physically. So we decided that we would allow her the time to rest and recooperate, finances be damned. Although she was frequently tired and still had to take various medicines, we both felt that she could recover.

Donna found out that she could withdraw money from her life insurance because she had a "terminal illness" (of course in her mind, terminal was terminal when they threw the dirt on your coffin). There were two things she wanted to do. First, she wanted to take Zach to Disneyworld while she was still physically able to. Second, she wanted us to live in a house, a real house, while she was still alive to enjoy it.

That December, I saw flashes of the old Donna. She seemed to have a lot more energy. She was actually managing some of her own care and was letting me get some rest. She was taking care of Zach the way that she had been wanting to for over a year. We honestly thought that maybe the worst was past and that we could move on. We timidly made future plans of what we would do once the five year mark came and went (that is when you are considered cancer-free). We had a huge christmas and started making plans to look for a new house. Our New Year's Eve was spend waiting for the Y2K disaster to come by. We sat at home, ate good food, and watched the panic turn into "D'OH!" when people realized that Cyber-Ragnarok would not occur. I remember how really good Donna looked at that time. She said it was the best she had felt in two years. Even her surgical scars seem to be healing well.

And so we took Zach to Disneyworld for a week. We had made plans to have one of Donna's dearest friends and his wife to help us out. We were thinking that Donna would have to rely upon a wheelchair and everything.

...well Donna fooled us all...lol lol lol

It was funny. It was almost as if God said "You know what kids? You guys have gone through a lot of shit the last few years so I'm giving you a week to be a normal family."

She ran everyone ragged - lol

We covered EPCOT, The Magic Kingdom, MGM Studios, and Cirque du Solei. I think we saw every single Disney character possible (Zach was vaguely disturbed by the Seven Dwarfs). We stayed at the Contemparary Resort. For Donna, myself, and Zach - it was one of the happiest moments that we had as our little family.

More later. It takes a lot to put this down and I need some air. The good news is that I feel much better and it feels like a load of weight has been lifted.

Went on a trip to Peoria and yada yada yada got out of turkish prison five years later!

2006-07-22T09:00:29Z

I sit here at almost 4am. In many ways, I love this time of night. Everything is quiet and I feel like I can get stuff done without interruption. I have some creative projects to work on in the near future, but first I have business to attend to.

For the most part, the house is clean. The cat boxes need to be changed. This will require the assistance of the child since this is a two person job. I have to keep that damn kitchen island from getting cluttered up. This is unfortunately the fault of everyone that resides in Casa Chenault. I want to get my office finished and I am 80% of the way there. It will be much easier for me to get my personal stuff done once that has happened.

The two big projects for me coming up deal with the tool shed and the garage. I've simply had it with the damn thing and want the garage for some useful space. Its bad enough that you almost can't walk in the damn place. But I do hope to take care of that. My goal was to have the house finished before Zach heads off to school and by Cthulhu and his ilk, it will be done.

Kelly has the money to finish the downstairs bathroom and has Sue on the ready to assist her. It will be nice to have another bathroom again, especially since the downstairs shower had the better water pressure. The plan is to use the downstairs bathroom as the main bathroom and keep the upstairs clean as a "guest" bathroom.

I am also hoping that the weather will hold up today. I would like to get Zach out to do some things. A movie is also being considered later on in the evening.

And now to end things on a...well on a note, I present to you my version the Aristocrats joke that I sent in. I warn you that it is filthy, degrading, and you are almost guaranteed a express ticket to Hell just for reading it. Those with delicate constitutions may want to look elsewhere.

There’s this talent agent in New York City. In walks this family. The father walks up and says, “We have this act see and…” The agent stops him in mid-sentence and says, “Sonny, family acts are vaudville and this ain’t vaudville!” The father pleads, “But wait! You have never seen anything like this!” So the agent muses a bit. “You know what? I’m a bit of a softie at heart and I’m willing to give ya a chance.

Within a few moments, the family has made the area in the agent’s view appear as a stage. The curtain opens and the father walks out in a Shakespearian costume and reveals a placard that proclaims “Contemplations of opposite muses.”

Then Andy Dick walks in dressed as Hitler dressed in crotchless panties…

The mother asks Grandma between slaps if “Her house has stairs”…

The father then reveals another placard announcing “Reflections on Modern Tragedy”. Four children come walking into the room dressed up in costumes. One is dressed up as the Twin Towers, one is dressed as the Space Shuttle Columbia, One is dressed as the Hindenberg, and the fourth is dressed as the Titanic. Just as they are halfway through a beautiful accappela rendition of “Nearer My God to Thee”, the father leaps out naked except for nipple clips and a Zorro mask. He starts alternately beats the children with a golden bat and lighting them on fire while humming Black Sabbath’s “Paranoia” The mother then opens a cage and horde of wild baboons storm in and proceed to sodomize the children. Grandmother accompanies the whole thing by playing “Auld Lang Syne” on bagpipes by expelling air through her vagina while Grandfather throws darts at her back while reciting a list of transsexual hookers he has fucked in the last twenty-five years.

The grandmother pulls out a placard announcing “A Little Night Magic…” The father is in what you would consider your typical magician’s gear – a tux with tails and top hat. He pulls out a fresh deck of cards and hands it to his son. His son crawls over to the agent and asks him to pick a card. The agent pulls out an Ace of Spades. The son then asks the agent to put the card back in the deck. The son crawls back to the father with the deck. Meanwhile, the mother is strapped naked to the same kind of table they use for gynecology. The father then slams the entire deck of cards elbow-deep into his wife’s cunt. With a twinkle in his eye, the father proclaims “And now the miracle of childbirth!” Suddenly one of the daughters leaps from a diving board above the table through three hoops of fire and lands squarely on her mother’s stomach. This expels a small fetus that leaps through the air in a series of somersaults and lands in a split holding the Ace of Spades. The fetus then proceeds to projectile vomit on the agent and says, “Is this your card?”

The father pulls out a placard that announces “Le Grande Finale!” He then uses an air horn and screams “Let’s get this party started!” as he turns on a CD of bad Maylasian techno music. The mother and the grandmother come running out with an inflatable kiddie pool. They squat down and pull out these butt plugs they must have been wearing the whole time. And then GOOSH! Out comes the most foul yellowish ichor that fills up the pool. Just imagine taking shit, liquefying it through a blender, letting it go puetrid, and then using it for enemas. THAT is what had been done. The mother and grandmother start wrestling in the pool of filth. The grandfather comes running out dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl screaming, “Take me now you loined man-hunk!” At that signal, the dog transforms into this tentacled monster right out of the pages of a Lovecraftian story. The tentacles grab the grandfather and proceed to violate every open cavity. These slime-covered tentacles have razor blades attached. So there is slime, blood, and sperm oozing everywhere. The father then drags out a wood chipper and throws the grandfather, the dog, and all the remains of the children into it, feet first. Whoosh! The entire room is filled with the effluvia that was living tissue. The mother and grandmother end up drenched as they continue to wrestle in the slurry that was the children. The father then pulls out a tuba and plays “Girl of Ipanema” by expelling gas from his ass and into the tuba while using his son’s burning head as a mute. The father then pulls out the tuba, grabs the flaming head and shoots in the basket right at the sound of the buzzer. Everyone freezes, waiting for the reaction of the agent.

The agent looks aghast and goes, “What do you call the act?”

And with a twirl and a snap of the fingers, the father proudly declares in-between gasps “THE ARISTOCRATS!”

The mother walks up behind the father covered in various bodily fluids and splits his head with a fire ax screaming, “Goddamn it Norman you fucking son of a bitch! We’re supposed to be THE SOPHISTICATES! I’m so fucking embarrassed now!”

NOW YOU KNOW THE TRUTH

2006-07-20T07:34:02Z

This is from a SA thread...

THE TRUTH ABOUT TEXANS

1 - Yes we all do wear ten-gallon hats, but that's to hide our tremendous brains that will soon all dominate you puny humans.

2 - The thing about Texans loving BBQ and beer is true. But that's why all Texans live for 600 years.

3 - The truth about why we talk about The Alamo so much is that its actually the head of a giant robot we keep hidden for the day we have to fight for Earth's freedom from the vile Martians (along with Big Tex).

4 - Everyone in Texas actually does get along. This is due to a mutual hatred of Belgium that we have.

5 - There are no such things as jackalopes or chubacabras in Texas. Herds of Giant Talking Plains Squids are a different matter.

6 - Not every Texan is rich because of oil. That's actually only half the population. The other half got rich from the computer market.

7 - Yes, some Texans do speak with "a funny accent". This is because Texans prefer to use telepathy and rarely use their voice boxes.

8 - To answer the question, yes Willie Nelson is God. Although he came down to Earth decades ago to bring about the Apocalypse, he's decided to put the whole thing off, smoke a few, and sing some tunes.

9 - In spite of what you heard, football is not the state religion. It just so happens that failure to appear at a Texas football game carries a 25 year prison sentence and $50,000 fine.

10 - Playing any Pantera song backward will reveal the location of such things as The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail, Atlantis, etc.

The truth is that most Texans do love their state. Most of us even have a sense of humor about it.

ALL YOU HUMANS - I have to ask - Why do you humans breed like rabbits? Is there a corner of this planet that you don't inhabit? I also want to know that while you come in various sizes and colors, you all still taste the same? Why is this so? Does a dry rub help with the flavor? I have a report on this to get to...my family...from "France"...and they will be visiting here VERY soon.

Drum Corps Stories

2006-07-18T07:56:56Z

A couple of vignettes (I think you can all relate)...

I - THE FEW, THE PROUD, THE RETARDED

The previous year, the contra line was considered a total joke by the rest of the corps (More than one reliable source had mentioned contras falling 5 times at the beginning of the Romeo & Juliet show). The attitude even bled into the first part of 89. We were at base camp getting things ready for first tour. We were on break before we did visual rehearsal. One of the snares realized that they had left their drill book in the gym. So he leaps over a fence and nearly stumbles on his face as he runs back. Meanwhile Johnny Sanchez, the Visual Caption Head, and John Brazale, the Drill Writer, were in the box.

They didn't realize that the mic was on

Sanchez (watching the snare drummer) - Who the hell was that?
Brazale - (drags a smoke)Oh probably one of those damn retarded contras.
Sanchez - (points at mic realizing its on and the entire corps has heard it)
Brazale - (drags a smoke) Aw hell!

As if on cue, all ten contra started walking and talking like they were "special" Is it any wonder that the next year, instead of calling me section leader, they called me Warden?

II THE SHOW CONCEPT

Fast forward to 1990. It's Regiment's turn to use the NIU Stadium before DCM and John Brazale is not happy. Bacchanale is flat. He gets on the mic and starts to rant.

Brazale - Ok ok ok shut up! (drags a smoke) Thank you. Now...SHUT THE HELL UP! (drags a smoke). What the hell is wrong? You people are just going through the motions here! (drags a smoke) This ending is supposed to be getting the audience off their damn feet and you people are playing it flatter than my damn prom date! (drags a smoke) This part of the show is supposed to be the orgy scene from Sampson and Deliah and you people are playing it like a goddamn tea party social! (drags a smoke) (drags a smoke) Now can someone tell me what the hell this piece and drill is supposed to be about? Well? (drags a smoke) Give me an answer.

Every person in the corps is transfixed in complete fear of Mr Brazale. There is absolute silence, except when I pipe up

Opus (corps nick name) - Sex?

Brazale (throws down smoke and laughs) - THANK YOU! (to Johnny Sanchez) At least one person in this sea of virgins gets it!

III - ANDY JESTAFIE

Anyone who marches drum corps will tell you that you will end up meeting a whole lot of interesting and unforgetable characters.

Such is the case of Andy Jestafie.

Andy was a decent-looking guy from Rockford. His parents were charsmatic Christians of some kind. I don't know all of the details of Andy growing up, but I figure that things were all not that normal at home.

Now like all Rockford kids who marched in Regiment, they moved up the ranks through the feeder corps. Back at this time, Regiment had a Pre-Cadet and a Cadet corps. Andy had marched a few years on baritone in the Cadet corps. One day during rehearsal, he suddenly takes his baritone and throws it at a velocity that would have made Nolan Ryan proud. His excuse?

"There was a bee..."

Andy was noted as a vast encyclopedia of knowledge on two subject matters - drum corps and the prog rock group Genesis. It was almost spooky the facts he knew. You could name a show and he could tell you the score and placement of the corps there. As for Genesis, he could tell you the story behind every song they sang.

i'll finish this later - more lightning coming in

More stories to come...

The Status of My Life

2006-07-14T08:29:21Z

Let's see...

The sewer decided that it prefered my basement rather than the sewer pipes to reside. After some thinking and some McGiver-like plans, I fixed the problems and banished the vile water demon hence to its home plane. Cleaning is progressing but it will be a while before all smells well. The good news is that a fortune was not spent on a dubious plumber nor were there any damages. I am also very fortunate that I did not become sick from dealing with the whole mess. All that mess and not one damn Kua-Toa to fight! How am I supposed to get to the next level?

My wife panicked the other day. I get a call from her saying that there was no money in the bank. Strange, I thought, there should be around $400 still. I check the bank web-site and to my shock, not only was ther no money but there was an extreme negative balance. Now in my thoughts and flashing back to the budget and recent expenses, I knew that there was no way in R'Yleh that we were that down and out money wise. I checked the accounts and there was withdrawl for over $1000. What in blazes?!? Suddenly, I put 2+2 together. My wife had recently cashed out some stock options so we could finish the downstairs bathroom, the source of the above terror. Somehow, instead of them depositing money into the account, the company was withdrawing. Well after a couple of well-placed phone calls, problem solved. All Kelly had to do was drive over to Schaumburg early. So another adventure concludes.

The cloning experiment makes good progress. He is able to ride a bike without training wheels. This was done after one single session. I am amazed at times at how fast he can pick up learning how to do something. At times it can seem almost unreal. He is also now swimming at a decent rate. Progress must be continued with both manners and hygine, which in many respects are not any worse than any child his age. His greatest sin continues to be not acting at his age level. One can continue to hope.

If you need a reason to see Pirates of the Carribean 2 - two words - Pirate Cthulhu "Yar! Ia! Ia! Phtag'n laddie!" The only thing Davy Jones is missing in that movie is a little shoggoth sitting on his shoulder going "Polly wants a Occult Investigator! Squak!" I also highly recommend the Nightmares and Dreamscapes series on TNT. Battleground was just plain excellent TV and Crouch End did a great job of keeping with the original story and not whitewashing the Lovecraftian elements in the story.

I went to the DCI show in Rockford. I saw a few people I marched with, but there were tons and tons of people. I enjoyed the Regiment, Blue Devils, and Crossmen. I believe Regiment and BD will be among the handful of corps fighting it out for the championship. Cadets were a different story.

The key to the Cadets success since the early 80's has been the corps willingness to gamble on innovation. The Cadets have been the leaders of that and have shaped much of modern drum corps. When the gamble works, they easily are the best of the best. However when it doesn't, they fall on their face, hard. I beginning to think that this might be one of those years. This years show is supposed to be both a sequel to last year's "ZONE" show and a re-imagining of the Alice in Wonderland. You have Alice, The White Rabbit, The Red Queen, and The Mad Hatter (albeit in a very abstract manner) and a narrator who sings. What I saw from a design point was a mess, a very incoherent mess. The vocalist WAS very distracting (and this was her only job). Cadets are usually very good at connecting with the audience. But the show and corps did not succeed with this either. The Rockford audience sat at the end of the show very perplexed at what they had seen. I do hope for their sake that they can pull out some late season magic. There needs to be some very serious questions answered about the show. I would love to be proven wrong about all this at Finals.

Speaking of drill, most of my preliminary work on my show design site is finished. I just have to set a few more things down and then get Pyware up and running on my Dell laptop so I can get some samples on the website.

The next few months are going to be very key to me as to what direction my life will be taking. I'l explain a little more in detail later.

Finally. Andy are you out there? You are worrying me a bit.

My new icon

2006-07-07T02:33:32Z

My new icon.

And now for something completely different...

You scored as Phantom. You belong to the Phantom Regiment! You love classical music, and Shostakovich is the man! 1996 was a great year in drum corps, because Phantom WON!

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Senior Corps

100%

Phantom

100%

Madison Scouts

83%

Star of Indiana

67%

Cadets

50%

Blue Devils

42%

Santa Clara Vanguard

42%

Spirit

42%

Spartans

33%

Cavaliers

What Drum & Bugle Corps are you?
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